*tries to get eight hours sleep in 3 hours*
I still find it the funniest thing that the French nobles were scandalized when Louis XVI *didn’t* take an official mistress or sleep around, as French kings were expected to in the 17th and 18th centuries.
He’s just like “but I love my wife” meanwhile the court at Versailles is all “what the fuck is this monogamy bullshit”.
what’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ?
one’s a crusty bus station and one’s a busty crustacean#i’ve told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
fuck you and your cute ass face and your cute ass smile and your cute ass personality and your cute ass everything i hate you
i seriously just had the thought “i wonder if I could rush from the computer to the top of the fridge to squat in the 3 seconds photobooth gives me”
When you’re failing gym class and you tryna get ya grade up at the last minute